Insensitive

In the early morning, around 12:30 a.m., Mr. Nagano came to visit me. I was still half-asleep as I headed to the visitation room.

It seems that the staff at Superior plan to resign at the end of November. My wife also seems to want me to choose family over running the company.

I feel a bit guilty, but it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I think I’ll allow myself to lean on them a bit.

In the afternoon, my mother came to visit.

She was teary-eyed, but I didn’t feel any particular emotion. Maybe I’ve become jaded, or perhaps I’ve just grown insensitive as I’ve gotten older. I wasn’t trying to act particularly cheerful, but I just didn’t feel anything.

鈍感

未明、といっても0:30頃だが、長野先生が接見に来た。寝ぼけたまま接見室に向かった。

スーペリアのスタッフは11月末で退職する意向を示してくれているらしい。[妻]も、会社経営より家族を選んで欲しいようだ。

みんなに申し訳けないけど、肩の荷が降りた感じがした。甘えようと思う。

昼過ぎは、母が接見に来た。

涙ぐんでいたが、俺はそんな感傷はなかった。変に擦れているのか、大人になって鈍感になってしまったのか。特に明るく努めた訳でもないが。